Find Your Backyard and Just Breathe

When Daddy passed away in 2015, Mama was still living at home, and my son Derrick was staying with her. In 2016, Mama's health began to decline. I tried to write as much as I could remember about that time in my book. It was a big change for both Mama and me. She was accustomed to living independently, and I was used to going whenever and wherever my car would take me. Suddenly, both of our lives changed.

When I look back on the days I spent caring for Mama, I would not change a thing. She was one of a kind, and she accomplished so much during her lifetime. But to me, she was always simply Mama. I don't think I fully appreciated everything she was, or everything she had done, until after she passed away.

If you are caring for someone you love, I want you to stop for a moment, take a breath, and remember that the difficult season you are experiencing will not last forever. There will be days when you feel as though you have gone your last mile. On those days, find your "backyard," whatever or wherever that peaceful place may be for you, and simply breathe.

Remember that you are never alone. You may need to reach out to a counselor, talk with someone you trust, or simply vent. Asking for help does not mean you are weak. Also remember that your parent did not choose to be in their current situation. They may be frightened, frustrated, confused, or grieving the independence they once had. You may be their only lifeline, the person they trust to speak up, listen, and stand beside them.

Prayer and my faith helped carry me through those difficult times. I was also blessed with wonderful support from my children and my brother before he passed away.

Caregiving can make you feel as though you have nothing left to give. But when you believe you cannot take another step, remember that God is still beside you. He will carry you when you no longer feel strong enough to go on.