Finding Strength in Grief: A Caregiver's Journey

I have been thinking a lot about Mama lately, how much quieter the house is without her and how even our fur babies seem to miss her. My little Flexie sometimes goes to her bedroom door and cries. When my son would leave for his night shift, Flexie would crawl into bed with Mama. Now I see him by her door, and it makes me miss her even more.

I don't understand why we have to go through some of life's heartbreaking events. Is it to make us stronger? To help our faith grow? I have questions I may never have answers to. There are still days when the sadness feels overwhelming, when it is hard to get myself up and going.

In those moments, I remember what I used to tell Mama when she was missing my brothers, my sister, and Daddy. "Mama, we have to rely on our faith and each other to get through this." Now I need those same words. But the person who was such a big part of my "each other" is no longer here beside me.

I trust that Mama is home with the Lord. But to the daughter who still needs her, it feels too soon. Knowing where she is does not make missing her any less painful. I still cry. I still have days when I cannot seem to find my get up and go.

I talk to God a lot, and sometimes I ask why Mama had to leave us the way she did. I may never understand that on this side of heaven. I continue to pray for justice for Mama. I also pray that sharing our story will help someone who is fighting for a loved one, that something we went through might make their path a little easier.

I am holding on to the belief that God can bring good out of circumstances I cannot understand. I am learning to give thanks even in sorrow: for the years I had with Mama, for the love we shared, and for the people still walking beside me. That gratitude does not erase the grief. Some days, I carry both.

If you are missing someone today, please know you do not have to hide your tears or pretend you have all the answers. We can pray for one another, listen to one another, and help each other through the hard days.